Mother and daughter
Parents pour their feelings into their children and they suck it in like a sponge. When the parent has an untreated anxiety, it tends to generate the same tendency to worry and fear in a child. This transfer is implemented in the interactions in daily life, body talk, and the mood that parents set in their home environment emotionally.
Connection The parental and child anxiety
Anxious parents who do not resolve the anxiety show physical evidence that is perceived right away by the child. Tension in the shoulders, quick talking, and checking, among other symptoms, are all too narrowing to be ignored. Children use the cues to deduce that the world is a threatening place.
A mother, concerned over the safety of her child, may well keep on the side during the playground. They caution many times of dangerous possibilities. They pose a lot of questions regarding basic activities. The child gets to learn that what would normally take place in lives of normal children are dangers that are to be avoided.
Fearful parents are catastrophic thinkers. The worst case scenarios become articulated. They complain of small things. This is the mental construction adopted by children. A late school bus will turn into a disaster indicator. A scraped knee is a medical emergency.
The Worry dialect
Parents are influential in determining how children interpret the world because of the words they utter. The language of anxious parents increases the risk and underplays the capability of the child to deal with the situation.
A watchword will be, Caution. The statement, Have fun, is replaced by What if something happens? These terms condition children to understand that they will become weak and that the world surrounds them was a dangerous place with a number of threat beneath the surface.
The parents may also pose probing questions that create seeds of concern. When a child is apparently feeling good, it is asked, are you absolutely okay? Is anyone mean to you? or when there is nothing wrong. Such questions train children in the ways of looking out problems that may not exist in the first place.
How to Stop the Circle of Fear
One way through which parents can break this cycle is to start by working on their anxiety. Individual work, meditation or even strategies of managing anxiety assist parents to control their emotions well before they are transferred to the little ones.
The beginning point is self-awareness. The parents should be mindful of whatever the body is reacting to and the spoken language to uncertainties. They also sense their shoulders scoping up or find themselves asking anxious questions. They will be able to stop and reselect another response.
A reflection of a calm behavior will help the children realize that any difficulties can bee handled. As parents, we exhibit deep breathing in stressful situations. They speak good self-talk. The same coping practises get taught to children.
Real World Transformations The Parents Can Achieve
Stop using phrases that work on the basis of worry, and start using self-catering phrases. Next time you say, Be careful, say Have fun, and use your own judgment. Rather than worry about the possibility of something going wrong, ask, What are you excited about?
Provide age independence to children. Let them work on little issues on their own. They excel and gain confidence in the self.
Accept feelings without exaggeration. A child is concerned. Respond to their feelings and not add your gelotaphic thoughts. It would be more useful to say, You are anxious about the test, than that, Tests are pretty tough so you ought to be on the spot.
Have stable schedules that are not too stiff yet providing a sense of safety. Children do well when they are not surprised by things, as long as they are prepared. They require the ability to embrace sudden changes.
Teaching Resilience
Parents with nervous temperament tend to isolate their children to avoid any kind of discomfort to them. This does not allow children to acquire coping skills. Give children exercise to handle something realistic and guide them in the activity.
Children experience delay. Make them think about what they learned and not what was not done correctly. This creates strength and instills in them that challenges are not permanent and that they can be withstood.
Promote the solutions to the problem, but do not suggest the answers yourself. Children cause trouble to their parents. Do not give advice to others unless you ask questions first, like, What do you think you need to help?”
The Long Term Impact
Children brought up by insecure parents can end up with self-doubt and worry as they grow up. They might not want new experiences, have difficulty in making decisions or even develop anxiety problems themselves.
By dealing with their anxiety and transforming the parenting style, parents will be able to have confident, resilient children. Such children get to know that they are capable of managing problems. They have the belief that their parents believe in their capabilities.
It is not aimed at ridding the family of anxieties. A certain amount of warranted apprehension is good. It is aimed at ensuring anxiety does not emerge as the central drive that determines the ways children perceive themselves and the world around them.
When parents go the extra mile to manage their anxiety, they do their children a great favor by imparting confidence in them that they have the personal capacity of getting things done, and the world in all its toughness is not exactly a dangerous place.
Are you in or around Delaware and is in need of a therapist who focuses on anxiety? Call us. We employ child, adolescents, and adult therapists. www.ccddelaware.com
